If The Words
Feel Hard To Find
Think about some things that you inherited from them, or that they taught you, said to you, or gave you, a quality, an outlook, phrases you find yourself repeating, that perhaps will stay with you forever?
This is a chance to speak of those things out loud. Let them be part of how they are remembered.
Is there a voice that has ever captured what it means to lose the person who shaped you?
No words fully express the weight of a parent's loss; the scale of it can feel too enormous. Poets have long written about this particular bond, D.H. Lawrence's "Piano," Patrick Kavanagh's "In Memory of My Mother," Grace Nichols's "Praise Song for My Mother," and Simon Ortiz's "My Father's Song" are all well-known starting points, but a poem, a passage, or even a line written by someone you admire may say something you recognise, even if it was never written for this exact grief.
What do you want to thank them for, even if you never had the chance to say it?
A blessing here can hold gratitude alongside everything else that grief carries. It does not need to be simple or complete. Naming one true thing you are thankful for is enough.
What is one way you will carry them forward, in how you live?
Many people find that a parent continues through them, in habits, values, or small everyday choices. An intention here can name something you intend to carry on, consciously, as part of how you honour them.
What do you want to say to them, as you close this ceremony?
This might be goodbye, or thank you, or simply their name, spoken once more. However it comes, let it be the words that feel true for you in this moment.
Recommended Poetry & Prose
for the loss of a parent
Here we have selected some voices that others have found helpful, should you want company for your own words.
Recommendations coming soon.
